early in the cold morning,
when everything was so quite and peaceful
a girl walks from the mist on the dusted path that goes through the with morning moist all over the ground.
Girl - shivering and blowing the smoke from her mouth into the air.
From the bushes come a strange noise.
Girl- turns around to see but she did not see anyone
a man jumps front of her
girl- she get sudden scared and falls to ground
Man- your okay
Girl- who are you
Man- I am Mr Nil. I am sorry i really did not mean to scare you
Girl- never seen you in this village before
Man- staying in the mansion
Girl- mansion on the hill of the other side of the forest
Girl- strange
Man- something wrong
Girl- no.... it just that villagers say that whoever went there has never come back.
Man- may i ask whats your name
Girl- I am pia
Man- its nice to meet you pia
Man- excuse me please i have to leave now
Girl- sure
Pia watch as nil leaves then pia went ahead to her destination and when she looks back to see mr nil he is vanished from the site.
pia- where did he go, his eyes it was different, it looked that he is hiding something. what matter of mine, it is strange that he lives in that mansion no one ever went there since that accident happen as Mr John said. oh I am getting late.
Erm.. say whaaaa?
ReplyDeleteyou're* okay
ReplyDeleteWww. Good attempt at dialogue and some description, not screenplay format but is the beginnings of an attempt to establish character
ReplyDeleteEbi. Capitals for names and beginnings of sentences. Focus more next time on how you could use action lines to develop the script further rather than relying on dialogue.
Comment from other are not appropriate - please use the system properly